I like to change my cover photo on facebook, and profile photo sometimes, but I have so many different photos I feel I am neglecting some by not having them as my pic that I end up feeling bad when I change it.
Example: I have my grandpa and me in a photo, with my sister, and I like to see him again. But I change it because of my daughters birthday party, no problem, I love her too and want to show her off. Eventually I think how I am being disrespectful showing my daughter who is still with us and not showing my grandpa who I miss and wish could still be with us.
I know I can change my pic as often as I want, I could do my daughter a few days then back to my grandpa. I like how people like Michele change their pic almost daily, showing off family now and then. I just have a hard time changing maybe, or maybe there is more to it. I am a psych major and am sure there is more to it than the simple "I miss him".
As far as my grandpa is concerned, I don't know if I ever really got over his death. I am sure I have written about this before, but here I go again.
I remember the last time I talked to him. He was in the hospital, and he was okay. I peaked my head into the room and then left quickly. Days later I was sitting at a table with my grandma and others, discussing what we could do for him. My grandma decided to have him come home and basically die there.
He was home for a few days, and I ignored him. I thought about how I would remember things, and thinking back I rememebr him in a hospital bed being given ice chips by his daughter, my aint, Michele. He died.
I never said godbye, I never said I loved him, I never said thanks. He had to have known how I felt, he was the "dad" influence for me when I was growing up.
Where was I going with this post? I wasn't going to rant about my grandpa (who was a saint, so fuck you). I started by writing about how I don't like to change my facebook pictures.
So yeah, I change my facebook pic blah blah...